Saturday, October 24, 2009

Party Over Principle, Part II

Now that Barack Obama and the Democrats have a super majority, we can do whatever we want. We have been busy repairing the ravages of eight years under Bush.

What have we done, you ask? Well, basically our focus has been saving the economy. I mean, can you believe how badly things were effed up by the last administration? Anyway, we fixed it. We threw a ton of money at the problem and bailed out some failing companies. The system itself is fine. No changes needed there. It wasn't the lack of corporate oversight that killed the economy; the free market is all good. Well, as long as we keep throwing money at it when it fails, anyway.

Then there are those two pesky wars. Those are Bush's fault, of course. Yeah, yeah, lots of us voted for them, but what were we gonna do, look like pussies? Barack's got everything under control.

We're gonna get out of Iraq any day now. What's the rush? Violence is way down, and the defense industry is the only part of the economy that's booming (no pun intended). As long as we leave eventually, Obama's kept his campaign promise.

Afghanistan is more difficult. You think it's easy to occupy and control a country that for centuries has been the place where imperial military power goes to die? Obama's doing exactly the right thing: Stay the course, maybe add a few troops here, subtract a few there, and we'll have this place locked down in no time. Even if it doesn't look like he has a plan, that's part of the plan.

Oh, and you know how he promised to end the ban on gays in the military? He will. When it's convenient for him. Yeah, we know there are a bunch of guys who have been discharged from the armed forces, their careers ruined, for merely being who they are. Yeah, Obama could make that all go away with the stroke of a pen. But he's really busy dealing with all the stuff Bush messed up, remember? He'll get to it when it has the highest possible political impact. That's way more important than allowing thousands of soldiers to resume their lives and remedying a national embarrassment.

We've also been really busy with health care reform. It's our number one priority. Now, you'd think that since we have a filibuster-proof majority, we could pretty much pass whatever we want. And you'd be right. But what fun would that be? The Republicans were such giant douchebags; we don't want to be like them. So we compromise.

Yeah, 70% of Americans want a public option, but what do they know? That was just something we floated out there so we could take it back later. And the stupid Elephants bought it! You see, by letting them essentially write the bill, we let them feel like they're still involved. Barack's also done a clever thing by cutting deals with the drug and insurance companies. Know your enemy, right?

If you're looking at what we've done so far, and saying "What have you done so far?" then you don't understand politics at all. The Republicans have it easy; they all think exactly the same. We Dems encourage everyone to think for themselves; party unity is fascist.

A cynic might ask what the point of even having a Democratic party is if we can't band together and get things done, even when we have all the power...

Hey, have you seen how good-looking and charismatic our President is?

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