Victory is Mine!

I want to thank everyone who voted for me as winner of Blog-a-Day Month. I knew when I started this campaign that I was going up against two veterans in Scott and Lance. However, I was counting on the fact that their routines had grown old and stale, and I figured the public would be ready for a change.

Boy, was I right. You, the people, overwhelmingly elected me Blog-a-Day Month champion, with Lance coming in a distant second and BADM founder Scott finishing a disappointing third.

Exit polls showed that those who voted for me did so because they liked the variety of my topics, the volume of my work, and the quality of my prose. In contrast, they said that Lance tended to repeat himself, and Scott was just plain weird.

"That one guy just writes about comics all the time," commented Antonio Edelwiess of Lance C. Johnson. "He does some stuff on religion, yeah, but all of his cheeky references to Norse gods get a little old."

Voters also questioned the moxie of Johnson's silly dietary crusades. "He quit a day early on the vegetarian thing," said Richard Shiner. "And what kind of man even pretends to be a vegetarian in the first place? Give me a carnivore like Nolan, who can't even remember the last day he didn't eat flesh."

As for Scott C. Harris, voters often had the same reaction as the title of his blog, "What?"

"Dude admitted to writer's block about halfway through, and I was like, 'no s--t,'" said Amanda Huginkiss, a former paramour of Harris'. "He was just posting photos of his vacation. What is he, my grandparents?"

Other voters declared Harris' Thursday night blog the final straw. "He interviewed himself! Isn't there some rule about not just posting a bunch of rambling nonsense?" asked Hugh Jass, once a Harris supporter.

Although my election as BADM winner was a landslide, it was not unanimous. Analysis shows that Scott won the octogenarian demographic while Lance swept the pedophile vote.

On a serious note, I'd like to thank everyone who took the time to read my rants, and especially those who took the time to comment on them, either here on blogspot or on facebook. If I didn't think anyone was paying attention, I wouldn't have made it through the whole month. I crave affirmation, but not enough to make one of those quizzes about how well you know me, so this is my only outlet.

I don't think I'll do Haiku-a-Day month in November. It just seems beneath my talents. I'm not sure yet if this blog death march made me likely to blog more often (my last one before BADM was in August) or less. I guess we'll see.

I do know this: I am grateful to my loyal fans for the landslide victory they provided. I humbly thank the also-rans, Scott and Lance, for providing me with the minimal competition they managed to muster.

Peace! I'm outta here!